Who Dunnit?

A lot of people are blaming the police for their decisions/ actions on the tragic Luneta Grandstand hostage taking. A lot of people find the efforts of the police to break the windows (unsuccessfully) with a sledgehammer, or to pry open the bus' doors with a rope tied to another vehicle funny. I felt sad. I felt sad because it reflected on the kind of training and machinery that our police have to contend with in trying to fulfill their sworn duty to protect us. Substandard training, substandard compensation, being the laughing stock, not only of this nation but of the whole world. You say the PNP gives you shame. I say shame on you! Because while you were watching the live coverage on TV, pointing your finger while you were laughing out loud, those men in uniform were risking their lives to save another's.

A post-script of one of the hostages circulated through the internet just a day after the incident. There was no need to read between the lines but it was obvious he was siding on Mendoza. Granted that Mendoza had a legitimate demand, to me, the end still does not justify the means. When he picked up his gun and his knife and decided that he will make a hostage of some tourists in a bus, he has already decided their fate. No matter if he did not intend to hurt anybody, he put himself, his hostages, the police, the media and the stupid bystanders in a situation he knew could turn bad in a split second. I sympathize with his cause, I really do. We live in a country that has yet to rise above the sick and twisted governance of the past. But there is no way that what he did can be justified.

Still others have opined that it would have been easier to just reinstate him, take the hostages and then charge him for the new crime. Yes, so easy. But who's to say that things will work out as planned? And what kind of message are we sending out then? "We won't hear your grievances unless you take hostage a bus full of tourists. Then you'll get what you want, and right away too! Afterwards, you'll get a slap on the wrist for the stress that you caused all of us". How funny that we think we can coach a team just because we've seen a few games.

And how about the media? They have washed their hands of any fault to the kind of ending the hostage crisis had. Blaming the police (again) for not telling them what they're not allowed to show. Excuse me? You know, this has been a problem of the media for a long time, not thinking abut the consequences of their actions. It's a cut-throat world and whoever comes out with the goriest details, wins. Sad, but true. Who cares if its unethical, or feelings get hurt, or, gosh, people die. I still got to report it first. Whoopie! A blow-by-blow account works for some situations, like the election, for example. But giving information to the enemy on how the police are planning to take him out? C'mon! You shouldn't wait for anybody to tell you to use your common sense.

As for the others who think and preach that the Philippines is unsafe and Filipinos are stupid? Go to hell! If you have never had any incidence of violence in your country then I'll let you trash mine. But we all know that's not gonna happen.

Still, I feel that this situation can be a springboard for the kind of nation that P-NOY has promised, and what we have long fought for. Give the police better training, better equipments, the media can learn to police themselves, the justice system can get a do-over...and shoot those who cry shame for every single thing! We have got a long way to go before we can haul the country from the muddy dump that we're in. And even then, we'll still be faced with other sets of problems. Let's stop with the shame game and start owning up to our Filipino pride. You wear the color, the shirt and all the other material symbols but really, what matters is the symbol that we wear in our hearts. You say you love the Philippines, then show it! You can't ask for others to do it until you have done it yourself.

Go ahead Pinoy, start the change.

Restless Leg Syndrome

(Repost from my Multiply site)

There I was, ready to take a slumber, when out of nowhere came this overwhelming feeling to move my legs. And the more I tried to relax, I even tried to use imagery, the more uncomfortable it got. I started moving my legs back and forth. But the gentle moving could not do any good. As the desire to move became intolerable, I decided to just get up and let it take over my sleepiness.

I don't remember when I first felt these creepy, crawly , uncomfortable and very unfamiliar feelings on my legs, usually when I'm trying to fall asleep. I know that it had, on several occasions, drove me to tears because of frustration. In 2003, I finally learned that other people also suffer from the same symptoms, and that it a legitimate clinical diagnosis - Restless Leg Syndrome or RLS.

To date, there aren't any definitive knowledge as to what causes RLS, however researches have shown that it actually runs in families. That's probably why I have always been told that I am like my maternal grandmother who likes to wiggle her legs when she's trying to sleep. RLS have also been found to be associated with anemia, especially iron deficiency anemia, which I have. Maybe I need to get my bloodwork done again and see if my iron level is low. Thyroid disorders are also found to be associated with RLS....another tickmark on my checklist. Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), dialysis and pregnancy can also initiate or worsen the symptoms.....at least I don't have to worry about those....

RLS usually start to manifest when a person has to lay still or a period of inactivity, like when trying to sleep, during sleep, or during long travels/ flights, among others.

There are two approved medications for RLS so far (Mirapex and Requip) and both are actually for treatment of Parkinson's disease which makes sense because they are both (RLS and Parkinson's) classified as a "movement disorders", aside from also being both neurologic in nature. Other medications that have worked for treating the symptoms of RLS are sedatives and pain relievers.... literally force you to sleep. Per my experience, the best way to beat RLS is to MOVE!

So here I am, awake at 3:59 and writing about RLS (and wiggling my legs vigorously), in case other people who suffer the same symptoms don't know yet that it is a condition worthy of a medical diagnosis and not just a figment of imagination.

1 semester later....

I miss writing......but FB came along, and I was there day in and day out, every free moment. When the FB fever passed, there came the new semester. And what a semester it was! Ah1N1 closed the school for 2 weeks, then several unplanned holidays, class suspensions due to flood and of course, the now infamous ONDOY disaster. DISASTER, FOR REAL! Make-up classes, make-up duties, regular classes, regular duties and research defense all forcibly crammed in the last 2 weeks of the school calendar. Let me spell it for you again...D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R!

Now that the crazy semester is over and done with....well, not exactly coz there's still grade encoding and clearance....at least the worst is over....I can go back to reading and FBing and going to the mall, and watching too much tv....and everything else I didn't mention.

It was nice to visit Butch's blog again..it's been a while....and had fun reading it. Never fails. Thanks for the stress release!

I miss......

Doubleshot....my kind of thing. Specially missing this during my crazy 7am to 9pm schedule. 12 hours of lecture! One time (last Saturday) I actually fell asleep at the faculty room during the 7pm break. Since it was a Saturday, the room was deserted. I didn't mean to take a nap so I did not set my alarm. I woke up startled when one of the CI's came into the room. I was already about 5 minutes late! If no one came in, I would have snoozed until the morning, I'm pretty sure of it. The doubleshot would have been really helpful. Incidentally, there aren't any coffee places by the U-belt. I wonder why. I was pretty sure there used to be one by San Sebastian. Oh well.

Another one I've been missing is Cold Stone's Coffee Lovers Only ice cream. Everytime I went to Cold Stone, I always had the conviction to get another flavor.....but every single time, I would come out with Coffee Lovers Only flavor in my hands. YES, I love coffee!!!! And I'm missing this very very very much!

One last (horrible) day

Yesterday was my last day at work. I cried 3 times. No it wasn't of sadness that I'm leaving the friends I have made during my 2 years as a part of Team Tele. It was because the jungle got to me again. I wasn't spared, in fact I think that I had the worst day ever last night. Come to think of it, it had been bad for me all week long, as if the jungle was making me pay for leaving it. I kept telling myself "last day, Mikee, last day", but it did not provide any comfort at all, it couldn't.

I knew I should have called in. I have planned to call in ever since the schedule came out. I had a change of heart at the very last minute and I regretted it from the very moment I got report. My first patient call, my first task of the day, even before I can do vitals or assessment, was for assistance to the commode. That signaled the start to my horrible, horrible day.

After I got my 3rd phone call at about 0830, that was the first time I cried. At that point I still have not done anything but answer phone calls and cleaning the bedside commode. By the time my day ended at 7pm, I have cleaned the commode a total of 19 times, called the doctors and ancillary staff about 15 times, noted off a total of 7 pages of orders for 3 patients as my admission (transfer actually) did not have any new orders. Oh wait, I actually had to message dietary for her because she does not eat beef and cannot tolerate milk. And the tray that I had to pick up from ICU because it was delivered there after she got transfered? It had beef and milk. Surprise, surprise. I managed to squeeze in one bed bath before my transfer came down.

I was terribly worried about one patient who may be having pulmonary embolism. That would have been the icing on the cake, or rather the salt to the wound if she suddenly crashed because I have overlooked the signs or denied it and wanted to believe it was a rib fracture instead. I sincerely did not think it was PE but sometimes it's best to rule out the worst than find out when it was too late. I had to do her dressing change after I've already given report to the next shift. It was a good thing that she did not want to be moved because of her pain, I had an excuse not to do it when it was due, at 9 in the morning! So 10 hours after it was due, I finally got to it.

I had to stay an hour and a half more for my charting of course. This was the latest I've ever left since I moved to Tele. Yeah, it was that bad.

And the worst of all, I was so tired and sick of the floor by the end of the day that it overshadowed my desire to linger and bid everyone a proper goodbye. I brought my camera but did not get any opportunity to take photos. I meant to be all smiles but I don't think I ever managed to even do that the whole day. Except when with a patient. You can't not smile when you're with a patient! We even forgot about the pizza we were going to order. No wait, we did not forget, we deliberately pushed it aside. It was at the bottom of our list for the day. And we never got there.

I will surely miss the people at 6S, but no, I won't miss the floor!

Going away......(party)

Going away......(party)

We went back to our Alma Mater , the University of the Incarnate Word, to say our final farewell. It was nice and touching that they would host this get together for us.
Here's the 7 of us (minus Grace who's about ready to pop) with Martin (our alternate officer) and Dean Kathi Light






My Tele family gave me a Mexican themed going away party. It was lovely and thoughtful and made me feel guilty about leaving. (L-R: Helen, Fatima, Shawnda, Me, Dawn, Marissa at the back, Kelly, Kate, Diana and Renee)

Passion for Nursing

(this was supposed to be my entry for nurses' week but I missed the deadline)

Oftentimes when I wake up with legs and feet so sore I could not even walk to the bathroom without my face turning into a very unsightly grimace, I blame it on my shoes. In reality, it's from running around the floor all 11.5 hours of my 12 hour shift, and no matter what shoes I wear, I still end up with sore lower extremities at the end of the day.
Most people think that nursing is an easy ticket to an above average salary, a way to fulfill dreams of owning a house, or buying that expensive car, or supporting a family. I have seen nursing students get the shock of their life on their first day on the floor, realizing the gravity of the profession that they have decided to venture into. No, nursing is not ideal. It's not only about doctor's orders and care plans and critical thinking. It's not all about the training, the knowledge, and the license that we have worked so hard to get. That's just half of it...the professional part, the part that can be taught.
The other half of it, the part that is innate to the heart of a nurse, that cannot be taught by the best teacher in the best school, is the passion for being a nurse. The part that makes you bathe your patients even if you have a million and one things to do in your list, because you know that it will make their day, or it will allow them comfort despite the illness that's eating them. Passion is the part that makes you cater to the family's need for an extra blanket, or an extra tray so that they can share and enjoy lunch with the patient even in the dire situation they are in. Passion is holding their hand and listening to them talk about their grandchildren, their canceled trip, their pain, their frustration, even when at the back of your mind, you're wondering about how you can get out in time with the many things still left to do. You tell yourself that you should not be too close to the patients and their family but you couldn't help nut care. Passion is when you cry in frustration because there's nothing else you can do to make things better. Passion is when you go home with sore legs and feet and you still come back for more.
Nursing has become so much more in this modern day, my work shoes cannot even cope up. Do I think I need a new career that does not entail so much connection and personal involvement? I think not. I'm just going to go ahead and buy some new shoes. Because I am a nurse, and a nurse will never quit. Because quitting means there's one less patient getting the care that she deserves. And one patient less matters.