Yesterday was my last day at work. I cried 3 times. No it wasn't of sadness that I'm leaving the friends I have made during my 2 years as a part of Team Tele. It was because the jungle got to me again. I wasn't spared, in fact I think that I had the worst day ever last night. Come to think of it, it had been bad for me all week long, as if the jungle was making me pay for leaving it. I kept telling myself "last day, Mikee, last day", but it did not provide any comfort at all, it couldn't.
I knew I should have called in. I have planned to call in ever since the schedule came out. I had a change of heart at the very last minute and I regretted it from the very moment I got report. My first patient call, my first task of the day, even before I can do vitals or assessment, was for assistance to the commode. That signaled the start to my horrible, horrible day.
After I got my 3rd phone call at about 0830, that was the first time I cried. At that point I still have not done anything but answer phone calls and cleaning the bedside commode. By the time my day ended at 7pm, I have cleaned the commode a total of 19 times, called the doctors and ancillary staff about 15 times, noted off a total of 7 pages of orders for 3 patients as my admission (transfer actually) did not have any new orders. Oh wait, I actually had to message dietary for her because she does not eat beef and cannot tolerate milk. And the tray that I had to pick up from ICU because it was delivered there after she got transfered? It had beef and milk. Surprise, surprise. I managed to squeeze in one bed bath before my transfer came down.
I was terribly worried about one patient who may be having pulmonary embolism. That would have been the icing on the cake, or rather the salt to the wound if she suddenly crashed because I have overlooked the signs or denied it and wanted to believe it was a rib fracture instead. I sincerely did not think it was PE but sometimes it's best to rule out the worst than find out when it was too late. I had to do her dressing change after I've already given report to the next shift. It was a good thing that she did not want to be moved because of her pain, I had an excuse not to do it when it was due, at 9 in the morning! So 10 hours after it was due, I finally got to it.
I had to stay an hour and a half more for my charting of course. This was the latest I've ever left since I moved to Tele. Yeah, it was that bad.
And the worst of all, I was so tired and sick of the floor by the end of the day that it overshadowed my desire to linger and bid everyone a proper goodbye. I brought my camera but did not get any opportunity to take photos. I meant to be all smiles but I don't think I ever managed to even do that the whole day. Except when with a patient. You can't not smile when you're with a patient! We even forgot about the pizza we were going to order. No wait, we did not forget, we deliberately pushed it aside. It was at the bottom of our list for the day. And we never got there.
I will surely miss the people at 6S, but no, I won't miss the floor!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Going away......(party)
We went back to our Alma Mater , the University of the Incarnate Word, to say our final farewell. It was nice and touching that they would host this get together for us.
Here's the 7 of us (minus Grace who's about ready to pop) with Martin (our alternate officer) and Dean Kathi Light
My Tele family gave me a Mexican themed going away party. It was lovely and thoughtful and made me feel guilty about leaving. (L-R: Helen, Fatima, Shawnda, Me, Dawn, Marissa at the back, Kelly, Kate, Diana and Renee)
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Passion for Nursing
(this was supposed to be my entry for nurses' week but I missed the deadline)
Oftentimes when I wake up with legs and feet so sore I could not even walk to the bathroom without my face turning into a very unsightly grimace, I blame it on my shoes. In reality, it's from running around the floor all 11.5 hours of my 12 hour shift, and no matter what shoes I wear, I still end up with sore lower extremities at the end of the day.
Most people think that nursing is an easy ticket to an above average salary, a way to fulfill dreams of owning a house, or buying that expensive car, or supporting a family. I have seen nursing students get the shock of their life on their first day on the floor, realizing the gravity of the profession that they have decided to venture into. No, nursing is not ideal. It's not only about doctor's orders and care plans and critical thinking. It's not all about the training, the knowledge, and the license that we have worked so hard to get. That's just half of it...the professional part, the part that can be taught.
The other half of it, the part that is innate to the heart of a nurse, that cannot be taught by the best teacher in the best school, is the passion for being a nurse. The part that makes you bathe your patients even if you have a million and one things to do in your list, because you know that it will make their day, or it will allow them comfort despite the illness that's eating them. Passion is the part that makes you cater to the family's need for an extra blanket, or an extra tray so that they can share and enjoy lunch with the patient even in the dire situation they are in. Passion is holding their hand and listening to them talk about their grandchildren, their canceled trip, their pain, their frustration, even when at the back of your mind, you're wondering about how you can get out in time with the many things still left to do. You tell yourself that you should not be too close to the patients and their family but you couldn't help nut care. Passion is when you cry in frustration because there's nothing else you can do to make things better. Passion is when you go home with sore legs and feet and you still come back for more.
Nursing has become so much more in this modern day, my work shoes cannot even cope up. Do I think I need a new career that does not entail so much connection and personal involvement? I think not. I'm just going to go ahead and buy some new shoes. Because I am a nurse, and a nurse will never quit. Because quitting means there's one less patient getting the care that she deserves. And one patient less matters.
Oftentimes when I wake up with legs and feet so sore I could not even walk to the bathroom without my face turning into a very unsightly grimace, I blame it on my shoes. In reality, it's from running around the floor all 11.5 hours of my 12 hour shift, and no matter what shoes I wear, I still end up with sore lower extremities at the end of the day.
Most people think that nursing is an easy ticket to an above average salary, a way to fulfill dreams of owning a house, or buying that expensive car, or supporting a family. I have seen nursing students get the shock of their life on their first day on the floor, realizing the gravity of the profession that they have decided to venture into. No, nursing is not ideal. It's not only about doctor's orders and care plans and critical thinking. It's not all about the training, the knowledge, and the license that we have worked so hard to get. That's just half of it...the professional part, the part that can be taught.
The other half of it, the part that is innate to the heart of a nurse, that cannot be taught by the best teacher in the best school, is the passion for being a nurse. The part that makes you bathe your patients even if you have a million and one things to do in your list, because you know that it will make their day, or it will allow them comfort despite the illness that's eating them. Passion is the part that makes you cater to the family's need for an extra blanket, or an extra tray so that they can share and enjoy lunch with the patient even in the dire situation they are in. Passion is holding their hand and listening to them talk about their grandchildren, their canceled trip, their pain, their frustration, even when at the back of your mind, you're wondering about how you can get out in time with the many things still left to do. You tell yourself that you should not be too close to the patients and their family but you couldn't help nut care. Passion is when you cry in frustration because there's nothing else you can do to make things better. Passion is when you go home with sore legs and feet and you still come back for more.
Nursing has become so much more in this modern day, my work shoes cannot even cope up. Do I think I need a new career that does not entail so much connection and personal involvement? I think not. I'm just going to go ahead and buy some new shoes. Because I am a nurse, and a nurse will never quit. Because quitting means there's one less patient getting the care that she deserves. And one patient less matters.
Friday, April 27, 2007
tic-toc, tic-toc
I started packing last night. It wasn't even an hour after I stated, my balikbayan box was already full. This is it, I'm really going home. I tried not to get emotional about it but I am torn. I am excited to go home, no question. But I'm also sad about leaving San Antonio, my home for 5 years.
I just finished calling Time Warner to cancel my phone and digital cable service. No more TFC. I'm not leaving until July but saving some is actually the best thing to do right now. Good thing websites are now showing full episodes. You know how much of a tv junkie I am. Besides, I'm still retaining my basic cable, and of course my internet connection. As I put finished cancelling services, I felt a little pinch in my heart. There's no stopping this now.
I have yet to book my flight. And I still have a few activities left before the D-day. Every day it's getting harder and harder to think about it. I'm going to miss my work, my friends, the opportunities that are open to me, the ease of life that I have become accustomed to, the kind of money I earn, the luxury of life that are within my reach.
On the other hand I am rally excited to be with my family again. To have my friends beside me. I'm excited to see how my bathroom and my mom's kitchen are turning out. I'm excited to be back in my comfort zone again.
Two more months. The clock ain't stopping. July will come sooner than I want it to but in a way, I'm ready. I can't wait to soak in my new tub!
I just finished calling Time Warner to cancel my phone and digital cable service. No more TFC. I'm not leaving until July but saving some is actually the best thing to do right now. Good thing websites are now showing full episodes. You know how much of a tv junkie I am. Besides, I'm still retaining my basic cable, and of course my internet connection. As I put finished cancelling services, I felt a little pinch in my heart. There's no stopping this now.
I have yet to book my flight. And I still have a few activities left before the D-day. Every day it's getting harder and harder to think about it. I'm going to miss my work, my friends, the opportunities that are open to me, the ease of life that I have become accustomed to, the kind of money I earn, the luxury of life that are within my reach.
On the other hand I am rally excited to be with my family again. To have my friends beside me. I'm excited to see how my bathroom and my mom's kitchen are turning out. I'm excited to be back in my comfort zone again.
Two more months. The clock ain't stopping. July will come sooner than I want it to but in a way, I'm ready. I can't wait to soak in my new tub!
Monday, April 2, 2007
30cc's dayquil, 2tabs motrin and left-tover pizza
I'm starting to believe Ronnie when she says I'm always sick. I denied it several times but now that I'm suffering from my 2nd bout of flu for the year, just when Flu season has been declared over, I'm starting to doubt my conviction.
Friday: I thought it was just allergies when I woke up with a sore throat and a headache. I managed to survive the day and still had a little energy left to join my amigas for dinner at Papacito's. But I knew that was it for me, no dancing, not even with Marissa's promise that a shot or two of tequila would make things better.
Saturday, 4am: I woke up because my nose was clogged and I was having chills even under my comforter. (take note, the thermostat's set at 75F). I thought to myself "Darn, I'm officially sick again!". Another dose of nyquil and motrin and I went back to sleep. Woke up 6 hours after with the same symptoms. I hate being sick.
Saturday pm: I finally dragged myself out of my bed and into the couch. Coffee was all I wanted but Grace had cooked some sour meat soup (Sinigang) so I had some of that. Exactly what my mom would have prepared for me. I miss my mom.....*sob*
Sunday 8am: No change to how I feel. I thought about tomorrow...Monday...I have to go to work. At the rate I'm feeling, I don't think I can. But we'll see.
For now, let me eat my left-over pizza so I can take something to make me feel better.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Mig Ayesa ROCKS!
My eyes were puffy and my nose was congested from da*n allergies. But that did not stop me from seeing Mig's show at the Hardrock.Mig was awesome! Made me remember why I voted for him week after week during his Rockstar INXS stint, aside from him being Filipino, of course. It was an intimate show and he sang mostly from his album, some remakes and originals. He gave away sample cd's which I'm also uploading here so that y'all can listen to it.
Hah! I told you I was a fan from way back then. And JD won, BTW. But that's ok. As Mig himself said, if he won, then he wouldn't be in San Antonio touring. Blessing in disguise.
Mig has an album coming up in April. And I'm definitely buying!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
luxury
Nowadays, it's become a luxury to be able to press the stop button instead of snooze, knowing that it wouldn't matter to oversleep.
It's become a luxury to be able to stay in bed and stretch, unlike hectic mornings when I've already showered and dressed and yet it felt like the day has not begun.
A luxury to be able to curl up and watch my fave tv shows, away from the jungle (you know what I'm talking about
).
Thank God for days off.
It's become a luxury to be able to stay in bed and stretch, unlike hectic mornings when I've already showered and dressed and yet it felt like the day has not begun.
A luxury to be able to curl up and watch my fave tv shows, away from the jungle (you know what I'm talking about
).Thank God for days off.
Friday, January 19, 2007
next chapter
Hindi kaya ako napasubo? Ilang kilay kaya ang aabot sa kisame? Ano naman ang ituutro ko dun?
Ok, I'm talking about precepting and intern. Special request ni Victoria e, gusto nya akong maging preceptor. 2 years pa lang ako sa Tele, kung tutuusin, isa ako sa mga bago sa unit. Halos lahat kasi ng mga nurses sa Tele ay more than 4 years na dun, marami na nga sa kanila ang RN III. Sa Ortho, semi-permanent charge nurse na ako, decision-maker, resource person. Paglipat ko sa Tele,nagsimula akong muli. Ibang level ito, maraming desisyon na hindi ko pa kayang gawin. Nung mga una, ni hindi ko kayang desisyunan kong pwede nang bumaba ng Xray ang pasyente na hindi nakamonitor. Kahit 2 years na ako dito, marami pa akong kulang. Hindi pa nga ako nakapagbolus ng Cardizem, never pa akong nag cardioversion. Samantalang sa Ortho, in less than a year, parang wala ng bago, said na lahat ng pwedeng matutunan.
Hinga ng malalim.....kung iisipin ko tlaga, magandang opportunity ito. Before ako umalis ng Ortho, naka schedule na ako sa preceptor class but since lumipat ako, naudlot na yun. By Feb, naka schedule na ulit ako. Isa pa, naisip ko na pagkakataon ko na ding magamit ang natutunan ko. Madalas akong tinatanong ni Gerry kung anong ginagawa ko sa floor, samantalang may MSN ako. Ano nga ba?
Ok, hinga ulit ng malalim. Tama, gagawin ko na 'to. Kaya ko 'to.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Another day in the JUNGLE
My day started out quick. I had a patient who is a nurse, whose 2 daughters are nurses and whose daughters' daughters are also nurses. 3 generations of nurses has the key to making my life wonderful or just miserable. Nurses, believe it or not, can be the most annoying patients. They think they know what needed to be done, they think they know what they want done. They are not afraid to verbalize their wants, their needs, their preferences. They do not want special attention, they demand it, they expect it. Nurses also have the tendency to be vigilant and observant about your every move. Are you washing you hands as long as you should? Are you using the right size needle for an IM injection? Did you explain what the procedures are for? Did you count the RR for a full minute? Do you know the side effects of the meds you're giving? I can name them all, but you get the picture.
I was hoping this was going to be the exception but having a family of nurses does not paint a very promising picture. I was right, however. SHE was the exception to the stereotype. She actually understood when it took time for me to answer her calls, or when I sent someone else on my behalf. She sent me out to do my "thing" while she's in the bathroom because she knew I "had a lot of stuff going on." She thanked me immensely for finding an extra tray for her daughter so that she need not go out anymore in the nasty weather we were experiencing. She understood what t was like to be a nurse. She was a nurse.
I was hoping this was going to be the exception but having a family of nurses does not paint a very promising picture. I was right, however. SHE was the exception to the stereotype. She actually understood when it took time for me to answer her calls, or when I sent someone else on my behalf. She sent me out to do my "thing" while she's in the bathroom because she knew I "had a lot of stuff going on." She thanked me immensely for finding an extra tray for her daughter so that she need not go out anymore in the nasty weather we were experiencing. She understood what t was like to be a nurse. She was a nurse.
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